Somehow I need to get my self worth back; I need to remember I'm worth any and everything - - I've lost my sense somewhere.

Google - - Why do

Your options...

-men have nipples
-cats purr
-dogs eat grass
-dogs eat poop
-[es] my eye twitch
-leaves change color
-men cheat
-we dream
-cats knead
-we yawn
-we celebrate labor day
-[es] my vag smell


Google - - Why aren't

Your options...

-the beatles on itunes
-you suppose to wear white after labor day
-i losing weight
-dinosaurs int he bible
-my chickens laying eggs
-my tomatoes ripening
-lucus and peyton coming back
-small asteroids spherical in shape
-my speakers working
-there lunar and solar eclipses every month

*sigh* - - don't you just LOVE people!?!

Well, well, well...now that NaBlo is under my belt - I feel...relieved, yet lost. Everyday I told myself at some point I had to get on the computer and write something. I don't know if it was a stress reliever, but I do know that when I actually took that time I did feel a bit better each time! :o)

Cheers to November!

Last evening was the NYC Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony and guess who went! We did!!!

Susannah trucked along up to the point where we reached Melissa's office, we did a hand-off and Greg, Sydney, and myself went off on an adventure!

Dinner, shopping, people, omg - lots of people - more shopping and more people. We did however do a lot of window shopping, it was very fun; more so then expected! We were a family, together in December in New York City; it was almost magical. Sydney was the best little girl ever - her behavior astounds me, really, it does. Sweetest little thing.

Of course since we dillydallied we technically were not allowed to go into the gated area of the Christmas tree, but an awfully nice policeman took pity on Sydney's little face as her gleaming tears trickled down her face with disappointment. Man, was she upset she wasn't going to be able to see the tree light up. "But, but I just wanted to see the Christmas tree, I...just...don't...get it!" - - One snowman policeman, melted right there before us on the sidewalk...he let us in; Sydney was happy and all was right with the world.

We had about an hour and a half wait still before the lights were to go on, so we entertained ourselves and met a lot of interesting people.

Santa from TD Bank [she had been staring at him through the large paned glass window] came out to give Sydney an elf hat with jingle bells and a candy cane. He asked her what she wanted for Christmas and she replied,

"Snow White - the movie, not a doll...and ummm...candy corn...and....uhhh...Mommy's camera back AAAAaaannnnddd Daddy's laptop back. The bad people took our stuff and, and we had to move because we weren't SAFE anymore. I like our new apartment though, it's nice and big. Will you come see it and bring presents? I'm making cookies for you and putting celery and peanut butter on your special plate because that makes the cookies healthy, right Daddy!?!" - - and she continued on and on and on!

An older man [Lou from Portland, Oregon - came just to see the tree lit up as was his tradition every year when his wife was alive] in his seventies [man did he completely NOT look his age!] came to rest next to us [he had a walker with a seat on it; great invention], he told us he wanted to celebrate the beginning of the Holiday Season in style. He had purchased quite expensive Champagne and asked us to share it with him after the lighting of the tree. A couple from England, two college students, and a homeless man all joined us. Fantastic!

A beautiful tree, a wonderfully LONG night. Makes me thankful that much more.

[Side Note: it was actual Champagne, not sparkling wine. All champagne is sparkling wine, but sparkling wine may not be Champagne. To be Champagne, it must come from Champagne, France - Lou's bottle was indeed Champagne. How special him sharing that was!]

Just yesterday - Sunday - Greg & I met Dorothy and Don, Mae and Liz, a priest [who blessed us], and we touched a baseball that Yogi Berra and Whitey Ford signed.

We talked about institutional food, military medals, 100-year-old photos of long-gone, distant relatives, practiced our two-phrase Polish vocabulary [thanks to Adam], were vigorously hugged and kissed, and ate dinner at 4:30 sharp. We were stared at, reached out to, and thanked. We were asked to speak up and step closer. A lot.

Above all, we were thanked.

I guess that's not what I expected.

Greg's grandparents recently moved into an independent senior living complex in Ocean City, a bit far from their past home in New Bern, North Carolina. Life has changed a lot for them. It's hard accepting that you don't or can't do the work that you're used to. It's hard to wonder what you do next with your time and feeling like you have limited options.

There are a lot of people in their building who feel that way. Some were nuns, and helped the sick. Some were farmers. Some have kids spread across the country. Some served in WWII and can now talk about their days overseas, while they couldn't as young men. One man told me: "My daughters, they married lawyers. They have money that I could never imagine, while we hang on to whatever we got as hard as we can," clutching his fists in the air for emphasis. He sat close to me, nearly touching my face, because about two years ago, he began rapidly losing his sight. He told us about his medals, but only after he described what they looked like and what they said. THAT he remembered.

Then there was Liz. Liz was a nun who left the convent when her mother was dying. The nuns wouldn't let her leave, so she quit. She was lucky enough to meet the famed Yankees players Whitey Ford and Yogi Berra while working as a nurse in Rochester, Minnesota, with the photo and baseball to prove it. "You can kiss it," she told us, "if you want to." Then she laughed and took us on a tour of her favorite artwork, interrupting herself only long enough to take us to a friends' apartment upstairs, who made lots of beautiful things herself. She was about to get in the shower, but she put her "housecoat" on, and received us like we were old family.

We shook hands with strangers in the chapel, strangers who thanked us later for coming to shake their hands. We heard life stories, life sorrows. But always at the end, "But now you're here. And you just made my day." Or, "I'm so glad you are here. I feel like I know you already."

If you think you can't make a difference without spending a lot of money—If you think you can't do it without spending a lot of time—If you just don't ever get around to it, but you think you want to.

There are lots of seniors out there, who have memories to share and lives not yet fully lived [and they're fascinating]. And they love young people, even if they're crotchety or don't see or walk so well. And if you just make eye contact, you have a new friend. A new friend dying to show you a cookie recipe or a ceramic pot or photos of their kids. A new friend who wants to know all about you and your life. A friend who needs a hug and a kiss, and maybe a "peace be with you."

Greg & I are lucky to have grandparents that are well and with it, even in their eighties and nineties. It's a treasure trove of stories, lessons learned, love, and kindness. And good recipes and laughs and chats about politics or what life was like, or how crazy life is now, or how good communities are built. [Watch a 92-year-old man talk about, and proficiently work, a cell phone. It's a trip.] Old men flirt better than anyone in the world. Grandmas just want to be that—grandmas.

But not all of these people have that. And they're starving for it—whatever it is that you have to offer. Not money, not gifts. Just your conversation and attention. And maybe you'd make a good friend. By just being you, by just being there, by just showing you're interested, you've made a friend for life. And you've made someone's day—someone who maybe feels like they don't have much purpose anymore.

It's a win-win. Because you'll walk away feeling like you have a purpose too, one that isn't an obligatory get-through-the-day, pay-the-bills one. A really important one, even if it's just a genuine five minutes of your time.

I just logged on to find that my post for today is no where to be found!

WTF!?!

Fifteen minutes to shower and get ready. It totally sucks. :o(

Plus I'm wasting them by updating THIS so I can get today's entry over and done with.

Have I ever mentioned HOW MUCH I LOVE STUFFING!?!?!

Well I am now, I love stuffing!

I can't keep up!!!

And Non Turkey Lovers.

The internet is not working so well and I have no patience to sit down and write an entry to just have it be erased because the internet won't load or whatever it is not doing correctly.

...b4n...

Sydney's new phrase!

We have NO extra money this year for Christmas, none, zippo, not even for ourselves and I just posted my 'Christmas List' - - I'm so pathetic and greedy!

:o( sigh - sadpants )o:

Vibram FiveFingers Flow
Men Size: 42
Color: Black
[$96.30]

Abercrombie & Fitch 8 Perfume 1.7oz
[$50]

The New Best Recipe [cookbook]
[$24]

Le Creuset Square Skillet Grill - In Red
[$119]

William Sonoma Silicone Spatulas, Set of 3, Clear
[$27.5]

Lenses for my camera [super expensive], the Kindle Wireless Reading Device, & of course cash...!

*Did you know that the word 'gist' comes from the French verb 'gesir' meaning 'to lie' - - :o( - - oh well, still using it in my title!!!*

Her name is Caitlin and she lives in Trenton.

:o)

TO BE OVER!

Kim Harrison's Rachel Morgan series
Kelley Armstrong and her Women of the Otherworld series
Carrie Vaughn and her Kitty Norville series
Yasmine Galenorn and her Sisters of the Moon series
C.E. Murphy and her Walker Papers series
Jim Butcher and his Harry Dresden series
Seanan McGuire's Rosemary and Rue

Title Challenge
A Animal Farm - George Orwell READ
B Bridget Jones Diary – Helen Fielding READ
C The cellist of Sarajevo / Steven Galloway READ
D The Diary of a Young Girl – Anne Frank READ
E
F Five quarters of the orange - Harris, Joanna READ
G The Guernsey Litery and Potato Peel Pie Society - Mary Ann Shaffer READ
H The Historian - Kostova, Elizabeth
Inkheart (Inkheart, Book 1) by Cornelia Funke READ
J Barbara Trapido – Juggling (on shelf)
K
L Like Water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel READ
M Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden READ
N Netherland / Joseph O'Neill READ
O One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest - Ken Kesey READ
P Private Peaceful - Michael Morpingo
Q
R Restless - William Boyd READ
S The suspicions of Mr Whicher, or, The murder at Road Hill House / Kate Summerscale
T To Kill A Mockingbird - Harper Lee READ
U An Unsuitable Job for a Woman - P D James READ
V
W A Wedding In December - Anita Shrieve READ
X
Y
Z
Author Challenge

A Kate Atkinson - When will there be good news? READ
B Beatrice Colin - The luminous life of Lily Aphrodite READ
C Connelly, Michael - The Lincoln Lawyer READ
D Davidson, Andrew - The Gargoyle READ
E David Ebershoff - 19th Wife READ
F Fielding, Helen - Bridget Jones Diary READ
G Grafton, Sue Alphabet series READ
H Haddon, Mark - curious incident of the dog READ
I
J Sadie Jones - The outcast READ
K Kellerman, Jesse The brutal art
L Lynch, Jim - The Highest Tide READ
M Mills, Mark - The savage garden READ
N Nabokov, Lolita READ
O Osborne, Frances - The Bolter
P Picoult, Jodie - Songs of the Humpback Whale READ
Q Quick, Amanda
R Rubenfeld, Jed - The Interpretation of Murder (on shelf)
S Smith, A. McCall The Miracle at Speedy Motors READ
T Twain, Mark The Adventure of Huckerlbery Finn READ
U
V
W Winthrope, Elizabeth Hartley - December (READ)
X Xinran - Sky burial
Y Karen Yampolsky - Falling Out of Fashion READ
Z Zeh, Julie - Eagles and Angels READ


Read one book by an author of the opposite gender.
How to talk to a widower / Jonathan Tropper READ

Read one book by a living author.
Sepulchre - Kate Moss READ

Read one book by deceased author.
Little Women - Louisa May Alcott READ

Read one book which was originally written in a language other than English. (Translated or not, your choice)
Love in the time of Cholera READ

Read one book which is non-fiction.
On the Trail of William Wallace – David R. Ross 146 pages READ


Read one genre book. (Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Mystery, Western, Romance, Horror)
Along Came a Spider, James Paterson

Read one work of literary fiction.
Jane Austin - Pride and Predjudice READ

Read one book classified as "Young Adult"
John Boyne - The Boy in the Striped Pajamas READ

Read a short story collection or anthology.
Glasgow Tales - Rachel Hazelwood READ

Read a poetry collection, poetry anthology, or an epic poem.
100 Humorous poems - Classic FM

Read a graphic novel.


Read a banned book.
Margaret Atwood The Handmaid's Tale READ

gets my humor anymore...

*sadpants*

It's the month of Thanksgiving, and one thing I'm thankful for is that I learned to read. And that I had parents, teachers, friends and family who encouraged me to follow my dreams no matter what and encouraged a love for books.

One of my simple pleasures is the smell of books—old, new, whatever. Mmmmm.

I do try to read a book a week (or so). It's hard, but I know it's one of those things that if you don't carve out the time to do it, it's easy to push it onto the back burner. And I believe books and words are important and I'll support the industry until the day I die. [And, hopefully, one day, contribute to it.] Reading simultaneously fuels my passion for writing and reading, and soothes me. I usually read right before bed. What a great way to fall asleep!

The last book I read was The Forever War by Dexter Filkins. It's reportage [a favorite word] from an embedded reporter [he works for the New York Times and has won a Pulitzer Prize]. It's about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and it rips your heart out and stomps all over it. The man has balls of steel, I will say that. He narrowly escapes death a few times; some of his compatriots don't. Tears came to eyes a few times, but more than a crying-sadness, it's the hollowed-out kind of sadness, a depressed, how-can-this-ever-be-fixed sadness.

Many feel that this book was based on his own experiences, and from what I understand, many feel it's accurate about war, even if the accounts themselves did not happen.

Highly recommended for insight into the war on terror, the psyche of some cultures, and what is really happening behind the headlines.

1. Cute outfit today.
2. New Vanity Fair arrived with Robert Pattinson on the cover. Sigh.
3. Hawaiian coffee.
4. Good songs on the radio. Songs I'm currently loving:
Buster Voodoo, Rodrigo y Gabriela
Sugarfoot, Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears
Drain the Blood, Rural Alberta Advantage
Baby, Devendra Banhart
Soft Shock, Yeah Yeah Yeahs
I'll Fight, Wilco
Horchata, Vampire Weekend
Lizstomania, Phoenix
Heavy Cross, The Gossip
5. Yummy dinner: turkey burgers, sweet potato fries, broccoli [greg ate the first only, made him normal potato fries - picky eater - *rolls eyes*]
6. Pottery class!
7. Hired as a wedding photographer scheduled for April 2010 - - !!!

Happy Hump Day! Go Get You Some! HaHaHaHaHaHa - - hyped up on that Hawaiian coffeecoffeecoffee [ - Lorelai Gilmore]